While there are many factors that ultimately influence dating, here are 5 smarter ways to be a Better Date… they’re easy reminders and just require a little bit of thought.Read More »
Smarter First Dates
After many years of dating, I have found there to be several important fundamental rules to help make dating a more productive and positive experience for you and your date. While we all have different styles / modes when going on dates and there are lots of variables to consider, I believe that the following rules should be applied on every first date:Read More »
Beyond Your Comfort Level
In almost all cases, it is more rewarding, interesting and enriching to challenge yourself instead of maintaining some sort of familiar routine. At the same time, it’s common to feel safer and more comfortable when keeping familiar routines, avoiding new experiences, people and places. The Smarter Sooner guy, however, will challenge this and push beyond his comfort level at every opportunity. In the past few years, I’ve done this with greater frequency and have gained so much. I only wish that I spent less time cautiously staying too comfortable and more time pushing myself earlier in life. Opportunities to challenge yourself happen all the time and can be big or small things. We know we’re challenging ourselves when we feel a sense of discomfort or nervousness associated with new experiences and undertakings. When we feel this slight discomfort, we are ‘pushing beyond our comfort level’ and here are some common examples.Read More »
The Need for Recognition
When you accomplish something that is noteworthy, do you prefer that other people know so you can get some sort of ‘credit’ or acknowledgement? Would you rather have an audience so you can ‘prove yourself’ or make some sort of statement in front of them? If you make a donation to a charity, do you like to have your name attached to it so that people know you generously donated? Do you seek acknowledgement in general? Most of us, if being honest, will respond YES to these questions. It is common human nature to want credit because this credit, in our minds, helps shape (or augments) how we are perceived.Read More »
What is Marriage Material?
While there are many things that may attract you to a girlfriend / boyfriend at different stages in dating, the Smarter Sooner guy suggests the following consideration before you decide to settle down and marry:
“Men Have Become Tools of Their Tools”
The title of this blog is a famous quote from Henry David Thoreau. And while he said this about 170 years ago with an intended meaning that is a bit different than my blog’s use of the quote, it’s very relevant. Here’s the SmarterSooner interpretation… Simply put, the more we have, the more we complicate our lives. And, in fact, we become the tools of our tools. While human nature drives us to want more because we think it will enhance our lives, the opposite is often the case. This notion is captured well in the following saying about buying a new expensive toy like a fancy car or boat: “The two best days of Porsche (or other fancy, expensive toys) ownership are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.” I have learned a lot about this over the years and share a number of examples that support this below. I hope this blog provokes you to think about your interaction with material things.Read More »
No More College / Career Anxiety
More than 20-years after graduating college, I clearly recall how college was a very anxious and uncertain time in my life. I know I was not alone and that it’s common to feel this way during this period or any major transition in our lives. After high school, I felt a combination of real and self-imposed pressure to figure my life out and select a plan (college, whatever) that would lead me to be successful and happy. As much as I tried, I was young and inexperienced and didn’t know the best plan (sound familiar?). I was lucky to go to a good college and just jumped in. Today, I can say that I made it and it’s important to reflect on one of the keys that got me here. This blog is dedicated to those who might be feeling anxious about what’s next either after leaving school or a job, or relocating and starting anew somewhere. Read More »
What Exercise Teaches Us
When we are forced to focus, we actually clear and calm our minds, which is the fundamental discipline of meditation. So, when this ‘focus’ happens during exercise, whether you realize it or not, you are actually experiencing moments of meditation. And, as documented by hundreds of books, experts and web sources, meditation is VERY healthy (link to one of the many documented meditation benefits given below). Many sports including cycling, trail running, mountain biking, water skiing, snow skiing, snowboarding, surfing (and others) are ways that we calm our minds without even trying. Here’s why… Read More »
One Nice Deed a Day
What actually is a “Random Nice Deed”? Simply defined, it’s anything (big or small) that you do that makes somebody else smile and/or say thank you (and it’s even better when it’s unexpected). Think of the last few days for a minute. During this period, do you recall either a time(s) when you went out of your way to do something nice for another and/or do you recall a time(s) when perhaps you could have done something nice? And, can you remember a time when somebody unexpectedly went out of his / her way for you? Whether or not you did ‘a random nice thing’ in the last few days or were a recipient of a nice deed, know that the impact is larger than you might expect. It’s one of those extremely simple things that has a disproportionately large impact because it takes so little effort to do it. Read on and I’ll explain why it’s Smarter Sooner to be conscious of this and do it as much as possible.
Anger or Poison?
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies”. That’s what a wise friend once told me and I never forgot it (apparently this is a famous Buddhist quote). It’s so true and accurate and conveys so much. If you hold anger, resentment, grudges or other negative feelings inside, in actuality, you are the one being poisoned and the one who is suffering. Nobody else feels that but you and, most likely, the person you’re angry with is completely unaware of your inner turmoil. You suffer by electing to harbor these negative feelings about somebody or something else. Regardless of what happened and who was right or wrong, you don’t need to hold poison (negative, toxic energy and feelings) inside. Take a deep breathe, exhale and release it. Holding anger (resentment, grudges, etc.) inside does absolutely nothing positive for you. Think about it and be honest with yourself. It doesn’t feel good at all. So, what does one do to change this? Simple… if you’re Smarter Sooner, you’ll LET IT GO.Read More »
How to be Smarter Sooner 