Dinosaur Arms

Dino_Circle

The Urban Dictionary defines Dinosaur Arms as: An affliction commonly possessed by someone who is excessively cheap, resulting in that person being unable to reach for their wallet (or purse) to pay for something.

We all know people with short dinosaur-like arms who notoriously expect to be paid for, rarely contribute their own money and/or mysteriously don’t have money (when it comes time to pay for something). This happens most commonly at restaurants when a group is paying for the bill at the end of the meal. Whatever you do, don’t be the one with dinosaur arms. If you currently have or have had dinosaur arms in the past (or even a slight case of it), be aware of it and do something about it.

Why care about this?

✔ Being cheap is one of the most intolerable character traits

✔ Cheap people have fewer friends, rarely get invited back and are the subject of ridicule

✔ Being Generous (the opposite) is VERY EASY to accomplish, takes the same amount of energy and makes a huge difference in one’s life

✔ Living bountifully and generously attracts that exact thing in your life

✔ Generosity is another form of kindness, especially when it’s unexpected

✔ People gravitate to generous, broad-minded people, and when people gravitate to you, you have more options in life

In life, we meet lots of people with lots of different personalities, character traits and styles. Many are great, some are neutral and a few are downright intolerable. Being Cheap is one that is, in fact, intolerable. The problem with ‘cheapness’ is that is conveys so much that is left to interpretation. Whether you realize it or not, here are some of the things that a ‘cheap’ act conveys:

  • You expect to be paid for and are not appreciative
  • You take advantage of people (i.e. you’re a ‘take’)
  • You figure that because somebody has more money than you do, that person should pay
  • You don’t care about others
  • You are too important to pay
  • You are owed something or are ‘entitled’

If you want to irritate people, continue to have dinosaur arms and be cheap. When this happens, you can be sure that the following will also happen:

  • You will create an undesirable reputation for yourself
  • People will complain about you behind your back
  • You will be invited out less frequently with this group, especially when going to places where there are meals, or other shared expenses
  • You will likely aggravate friends (or others) to the point where they literally de-friend you

Please note that in many cases it is ok to be ‘treated’ and to have others pay for you – but this is case-by-case. This happens regularly and there are important distinctions to be made here.  It is ok to be paid for when the following occurs:

  • You’re extremely acknowledging of the fact that somebody is treating
  • You’re very grateful and express that clearly to the person paying for you (i.e. you’re not expecting to be paid for and are extremely aware that somebody paying for you is being very generous). Speaking of gratitude, please read more on that exact topic in this blog entry:  https://smartersooner.com/2015/11/17/2-powerful-words-thank-you/
  • You at least offer to pay for your portion and/or you offer to treat to the next time
  • Your family (or another entity) is treating you and you are not expected to pay
  • You ‘earned’ the benefit of not having to pay

In my experience, no matter how nice somebody is, cheapness becomes “the giant elephant in the room” that overwhelms everything else.  So no matter what else is going on, when somebody is being cheap, it’s hard not to notice.

Here’s a plan to avoid being perceived as cheap and avoid getting into situations that perhaps make your arms dinosaur-short:

  1. Avoid going to places that you cannot afford. If you can’t afford to go an expensive restaurant with a group of friends or work colleagues, don’t go. That just creates a situation where dinosaur arms syndrome happens. Meet the group afterwards for a coffee or drink (something you can afford) and have dinner solo or home or with other friends at a place you can afford.
  2. If you don’t have money and want to spend more money, figure out a way to make more money so you can afford more of the things you want (and pay for them yourself). Aspire to be the one that has more money and can afford whatever you want (in addition to treating others)!
  3. Always plan on paying for yourself.   Unless you’re out with your family or guardians (or others) who officially expect to (or should) pay for you.
  4. Surprise people you’re with from time to time and treat them! They will love it and will likely reciprocate the favor in the future.

Think about having LONG ARMS! Now go pay for something you enjoy.  It’s way more gratifying.

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