Can Sadness Actually Make Us Happier?

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Happy_Sad_copyHow Periods of Unhappiness Can Actually Make You Happier…

I know this seems odd, but it’s actually true when you consider the following premise: Feeling unhappy from time to time helps us truly sense and appreciate the opposite — when we feel happy.   It’s the contrast that makes the difference. If we only felt one emotion (whatever it is) without any contrast or change in emotion, that emotion would be meaningless and mundane. In this example, if we never knew the feeling of being unhappy, how would we truly know what happiness is, and in the same sense, how would we truly appreciate being happy if being happy was all we felt? (The same applies with many other contrasting feelings or experiences we have in our lives.)

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Learn from “Close Calls”

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plane_CloseCallHave you ever had a close call and breathed a sigh of relief? These happen to all of us in many different situations. BUT, have you ever thought about paying closer attention to these events and perhaps considering that they’re sending a subtle (or even blunt) message that we can use to our advantage?   As I’ve aged, I’ve become more aware of how ‘close calls’ are usually good signs and reminders for us to ‘wake up’ and examine our behavior. Thinking about our behavior more often is a good rule and it makes us “Smarter”. Here’s how it applies to close calls…

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The 24-hour Rule

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24_hours

In the heat of the moment when you’re upset about something, it’s easy to do things that you might regret. This is a simple concept and most people realize this… but this is an important reminder to really apply discipline here. When emotions are inflamed, nobody thinks very clearly and behavior can be erratic. So, if at all possible, take a deep breath and wait as close to 24-hours as you can before responding / reacting. You’re response may be an email, a phone call or a direct confrontation with somebody – whatever it is, 9 times out of 10, it can wait. Obviously, 24 hours is a target time period because you can technically ‘sleep on it’, but the point is to take some period of time to pause and calm down before reacting (and likely doing something you might regret).

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Be Kind to Seniors – It Pays Off!

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kindtoseniors

Being kind to senior folks, especially when it’s unexpected, has a tremendous impact and goes much further than you might think. The purpose of this blog entry is to remind you of the value of these kind acts, explain why they’re so useful and, hopefully, encourage you to act accordingly.

Why the elderly appreciate kind acts more than most:

It’s pretty simple when you think about it. Senior citizens, as they get on in years, have less and less going on their lives. This means they do less, see fewer people and generally have less stimulating lives. And when a person has less going on, he/she applies more focus to smaller details and, accordingly, these smaller details become more important.  These small details can be anything, including small, random acts of kindness.

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Big Ego?

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Ego_Einstein

This blog entry is intended to remind us of how our Egos have such HUGE influence on our behavior every day. According to Vocabulary.com, “Your ego is your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your ‘self’. If you say someone has ‘a big ego’, then you are saying he is too full of himself.” Ego is “An inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others.”

Another general dictionary definition of Ego is, “A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” In simplest terms Ego is the part of all of us that “Reacts to the outside world”.

Because of our Egos, we care about how we’re perceived and what people think of us. Here are some common scenarios:

  • Ego is infused with all of our desires to be viewed by our peers in a certain way… to be accepted, acknowledged, heard, popular, funny, important, prioritized, right, stronger, better, faster, better looking… the list goes on.
  • When we feel pride, we are often feeling our Egos (and we are fearful of having our pride damaged)

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Real or Artificial Friends?

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spot_the_fake_SMBecause we’re all unique (different upbringings, preferences, etc.), we are all attracted to different types of people – friends, significant others, etc. But, in many cases, we choose people in our lives for the wrong reasons – because we want to be seen or perceived in a certain way, or we think it would be ‘beneficial’ to be affiliated with certain people. Truly contemplating why you spend time with people is so important.  Ask yourself, “which of your friendships are real and which ones are artificial?”

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Are You Reliable?

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reliable-sign

Being reliable is such a simple thing and yet so many people aren’t. Why is this? I think it’s because being reliable requires so much consistency. There are lots of little things that we can do to be perceived as reliable and each little thing, alone, may seem insignificant and therefore easy to skip. But, when you’re consistent with lots of little things (that are so simple), you can build, maintain or repair a reputation of being reliable.

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Listening a Little More

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ThanksForListening

If you thought about it, you’d probably agree that most people are not great listeners. Think about the times when you have clearly noticed people not paying attention when you speak. I admit that I am not the best listener but I have worked hard to become better at it over the years. It’s not easy. In fact, it has been one of my New Year’s resolutions (for a number of years in a row) to be become better at listening.  I assume lazy listening is very common because it just takes less energy… our minds are racing away and we’re often generally distracted.

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Two Powerful Words: ‘Thank You’

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Thankful

Saying ‘thank you’ is one of the simplest yet most important things we can do. It’s important when you actually speak the words and just generally feel grateful (or have a sense of appreciation for all that is good in your life). I argue that people who don’t say ‘thank you’ and who are generally ungrateful are less pleasant to be around. And if you’re less pleasant, you’re creating disadvantages for yourself, fewer people gravitate to you and you miss opportunities. Two simple words do, in fact, mean a LOT. This is one of the first blog entries because being grateful is one of the most important things we should think about. It’s something applicable every day of our lives in almost all circumstances.

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Dinosaur Arms

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Dino_Circle

The Urban Dictionary defines Dinosaur Arms as: An affliction commonly possessed by someone who is excessively cheap, resulting in that person being unable to reach for their wallet (or purse) to pay for something.

We all know people with short dinosaur-like arms who notoriously expect to be paid for, rarely contribute their own money and/or mysteriously don’t have money (when it comes time to pay for something). This happens most commonly at restaurants when a group is paying for the bill at the end of the meal. Whatever you do, don’t be the one with dinosaur arms. If you currently have or have had dinosaur arms in the past (or even a slight case of it), be aware of it and do something about it.

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